When Giacomo and I started talking over private messages back in May, I was surprised, flattered, aroused, but a part of me felt that the flirting shouldn't happen. That I'm not a cheater. That I love my boyfriend and that's it.
After finally meeting him, it was hard for me to feel shameful, but I found a way anyway. Now that the feelings are deepening, I must reevaluate what makes me happy, and what makes me unhappy.
Snake makes me deliriously happy (when we're not at each other's throats from overexposure to ourselves. Maybe working and living together really isn't working perfectly for us.)
Giacomo embodies everything I've always feared I'd love in a man. As much as it would seem that falling for him would be a bad thing, he cares so deeply for those he loves that I know he'd never intentionally hurt me. Unless I wanted him to.
Lance... As much as he intrigues me, I think everything was all lust. Having sex with Lance is much like having sex with Giacomo. He lives for your pleasure.
This list can go on and on with every single one of my friends that I've been with. I love each and every one of them in a certain way, or else I wouldn't have had sex with them.
I'm a sensual person. I need to FEEL EVERYTHING. I love being overwhelmed by my senses in bed. The smells, the tastes, the sights, the moans, the touch, I love it all.
While this is a novel already, the point was to say that, after 4 years of being promiscuous / monogamous (depending on if I was in a relationship or not), I do believe that I am truly polyamorous.
While I do have somewhat of a jealous streak, I recognize it before anyone else, and I can squash the feeling.
Will there be growing pains? Hell fucking yes there will be. There are some now. But tonight is the first time that I am admitting to myself, and thus to the few who read this, that I believe that I am polyamorous.
I love every single person in that room. Including the photographer.
Oh, and there is a click-through. =]
Those were fun pics to edit!
ReplyDeleteThey were even more fun to take!
ReplyDeleteThanks for editing them. =]